MRI results

We meet with Dr. Merchant today. He said that Ivee's scan was clear (NERD) and looked well from a stand point of visible disease. However, the swelling on the back of her head and pressure on her brain stem is still a concern for him. He would be discussing the scans with Dr. Boop, neurosurgeon. More than likely, nothing will come from the discussion but a watch, wait and see approach. She is still progressing in a positive direction, learning, growing and achieving more all the time. Is she still behind, yes, but for all that she has been through, she is just simply amazing.
To be honest, I can't believe how much scanxiety I had this time. I told someone recently that sometimes it's just easier going through the treatments than these waiting periods in between scans. When you are getting radiation, you feel like you are giving her a fighting chance, just attacking this monster trying to kill her. You HATE the thought of what you are doing to her body, definitely fear doing something to her a second time that bad enough doing just one time. But, you are fighting. Then, it all ends you just wait. You sit there, moving on with life, this new normal, and you just wait until that next scan. You sit in the doctors office and you wait for them, anxiously, and the moment they walk in you read their faces quickly to see what their face says, not necessarily their words. To be honest, I didn't have these feelings after her first surgery and treatment. So, for 3 years, I was good...if you know what I mean. But, then little Johnny passed away last July, and I was just so sad and Ivee's scan was coming up, I just felt the pressure...but all was well. Then, out of the blue, January gets here and bam, there was the news. The moment the doctor and his nurse walked in the room, I saw it on her face and I just knew. So, how do I deal? I do as I have always done. Pray. Hope. Have faith. The same God who got me through it in 2006 will get me through it to 2012. He hasn't changed, even if I have. What else? Witness. Share. Care. Give back. Make things better for the next family who gets thrown into this whirlwind of chaos and lack of knowledge. encourage where I can and educate when needed. Never push my agenda, but just share my experience. No two children are alike, even if the diagnosis is the same.
It's late, I could say more, but I just like to write my thoughts down, even if it's just for me to go back and read later.
Thank you prayer warriors. Keep on praying! Always believing that my God heals, He saves.
Praises: KK, great report. Adi, clear scan. Ryan, clear scan. Haley, Clear scan. Olivia, clear scan. Justin, Allison, George and Lucy, almost done. Just a few more days/weeks. Aaron, healing. Ronan, doing well during chemo. Dillan, misdiagnosed and healing. Haley, Levi, Brandon and so many others, home and happy. Nothing sad/bad to report this week, and it feels good!